One of my rules in the posting of my entries was never to write about work. Such things get people into trouble. So let me just say, right now, that this is about work IN GENERAL, not a specific gig or job.
I think we’ve all felt like the above while working. For me, it’s especially tough because I have tons of rage inside me, but given my upbringing, am often very polite and polished when it comes to dealing with my bosses at work. Also, I am somewhat of a workaholic, so even when I’m grumpy about my professional environment, I still work my ass off. It’s not a good combination.
But. That dog above? That is totally me. I love that gif because that is how I am like, all angry and surly on the inside and accommodating on the outside. “Yes, sir, of course!!” and “I’ll try my hardest to get it done as soon as possible” are comments that spill from my mouth while my brain is saying, “Fuck you! Bitch! Asshole! Fuck off! Bastard!”.
I don’t know where my inclination to swearing comes from. Certainly not from my mother, who was always very proper and civil. But the good thing to note for people who know me is that if I like you and feel decently comfortable around you…I will swear. Oftentimes, like a sailor.
It’s difficult, isn’t it? To say yes to everything at work and seethe at not being acknowledged for all the effort you’re putting in, especially if you’re someone like me, who harbors a ton of rage and resentment in general? To sit there and appear all compliant because we have to earn a paycheck? And then to receive that check and look down at that dollar figure and think to yourself…THAT’S IT?!!? All that time and stress? And it comes to this.
But we all have to do it. Because we are adults and living in the real world.
I remember my first job ever; I was being paid the minimum wage and sometimes I would go and grab myself a sandwich and as they rang up the bill, I would look at the receipt and think to myself, that was two hours of work right there. I just worked two hours to simply eat.
It taught me quite a bit, working at minimum wage. It wasn’t for long, only for one summer, but I realized how tough it must be for most people. However, after that, I never really took things for granted. Then I moved on and was able to command a higher salary and benefits and then also came to a wonderful epiphany: I don’t need them.
I don’t. I don’t need to be employed by one firm or another. I am lucky in that I have choices. I can find something else, always. It has made me more of an undependable employee, but fuck them. It has made me a happier person. And one who can swear, at least in my head, at them while I roll my eyes and pretend to give a crap about all the trivial requirements they want me to fulfill.